Of Course the All-Star Game Stinks!

The NBA almost specifically commanded it

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Everybody okay with adjusting our expectations?

The NBA All-Star game was pungent. The malodorous scent of “I will not get hurt by attempting a serious effort this evening” wafted through Gainbridge Fieldhouse(*) late Sunday in snowy Indianapolis. Serious fans of the sport fled the noxious fumes of athlete apathy — that is, used the power of their remotes to find something better to watch. The losing team scored 186 points.

So the game is broken. Called it!

We all figured something like this would happen, because in recent years something like this always happens during this weekend. You got a 211-186 final score because the All-Star Game doesn’t matter in the slightest. It never did, but guys used to pretend.

Moreover, there isn’t really an expedient way to fix it. The game itself feels fully beyond repair. So instead, let’s figure out whom to blame.

Oh — found it. It’s the NBA.

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The league doesn’t actually want to create this sort of stench, and if you saw NBA commissioner Adam Silver’s incredibly pained look as he handed out the post-game hardware after that defense-free shootaround, you can believe it. But the league’s structure did and does set the entire thing in motion, so at least we know who the bad guys are. They’re the ones counting the checks.

For years and years, coincidentally the same number of years since anyone has tried during the All-Star Game, the NBA has made it clear that it values the playoffs over everything else — and not by a little, but by whatever is the greatest amount you can imagine.

The post-season drives the entire financial scenario for the league every year. Its ratings drive what the network partners can reap in profit via advertising, which in turn drives what the NBA can demand of those partners when the next TV contract comes up.

Under the last deal, struck almost a decade ago, the league gets paid $2.6 billion per season by ESPN/ABC and TNT.

The new deal, which would arrive in time for the 2025-26 season? The NBA is reported to be looking for triple that — $8 billion. Per season. For a decade.

And networks can only recoup that kind of outlay with playoff broadcasts. Lots and lots of them. Starting early. Involving more teams than ever. With play-in stuff.

It’s all about bank.

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So you can’t blame a franchise for understanding that everything it is doing needs to be about getting ready for the playoffs. More post-season games mean more money: for the teams, for their owners, for their players — and of course for the networks.

These teams are going to be sure that their best players are ready for that late spring and summer playoff run.

These teams are going to rest those players during the regular season whenever they can. After all, they only have to crack the top 10 (out of 15) in their conference to be assured of at least a play-in game.

These teams’ players, in turn, come to understand that the point of the regular season is not to play all the time or to achieve bigly, but rather to be ready for the long, lucrative post-season.

Translated: Don’t get hurt doing something stupid.

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And that’s how you get to an All-Star Game in which nobody tries. It is their job at this point not to get themselves banged up by, you know, trying to guard somebody during a mid-winter exhibition, not even if Babyface is singing the national anthem.

After the 211-186 stink bomb on Sunday night, Silver, the commish, handed the winners their trophy almost robotically, saying, "To the Eastern Conference All-Stars, you scored the most points. Well ... congratulations."

Hey, Adam — not their fault. Your league is telling them not to try too hard. Maybe be a little excited that they’re at least paying attention to the messaging.

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(*) Thank you for asking! According to its website, Indianapolis-based Gainbridge is “a self-managed, innovative digital platform providing direct access to trusted annuity products guaranteed to grow your savings over time. Our mission is to strip away the strings that have given annuities a bad reputation.” And yes, this arena was originally called Conseco Fieldhouse, later changed to Bankers Life Fieldhouse. Naming rights are fun!)